From the Science Archives

Dear Dr. Galileo di Vincenzo Bonaiuti de’ Galilei:

Thank you very much for your recent submission to The Pisan Journal of Science and Inquiry. As you know, we believe strongly in the scientific method and especially the peer-review process. However, we have recently undertaken to be more self-critical in regard to our position of privilege and the systemic ways in which Italo–Roman culture has colonized and oppressed peoples of other regions and culture-ways.

Your paper, “The Earth Revolves around the Sun and I Can Prove It,” violates our standards of inclusive and equitable discourse. As you are no doubt aware, the notion of a heliocentric universe is offensive to many of our Roman Catholic readers, as well as deeply upsetting to our readers who follow pantheist, animist, and humanist faith traditions.

We regret that we are unable to publish your research and cannot sponsor a peer review at this time. Your “ideas” are, unfortunately, part of a fringe and extreme racist wing of the scientific community, and we feel that giving a platform to your findings would create an unsafe environment, despite the scientific evidence you provide.

With regret,

The Editorial Team

The Pisan Journal of Science and Inquiry

Dear Dr. Galileo di Vincenzo Bonaiuti de’ Galilei:

Many thanks for your submission, “The Earth Revolves around the Sun and I Can Prove It.” Although you submitted this paper to us many years ago, we are happy to be able to publish it now, and we apologize for the delay. We have been suffering an editorial backlog since 1632.

It is distressing, though, to have heard through “back channels” that you have been telling peers and colleagues that we “rejected” your piece at first, or that we claimed your research was “fringe” or “extreme” or “racist.” Nothing could be further from the truth, as the record shows. Or, would show, were this not the 17th century, when letters and documents are routinely burned and/or discarded. We are certain that you have burned or rendered illegible our previous correspondence and that you will take our word for it: We always loved the Earth-around-the-Sun idea and never rejected it.

Actually, to be totally honest, we always felt that the Sun-around-the-Earth theory was implausible and, frankly, racist. We reject the colonial, oppressive, Earth-centered narrative and always have.

And this has nothing — zero, zip, nada — to do with the fact that there’s a new pope.

Trust the Science is something we say literally all the time. The scientific method is basically like a religion to us, and it’s crazy to suggest that we originally rejected your essay “The Earth Revolves around the Sun and I Can Prove It” for political reasons. Really, it’s laughable!

Enclosed please find the publication fee for your paper, which would be a tenth of a ducat but, alas, as we are a nonprofit journal of science and inquiry, can only be a thank-you card from our staff.

With very best wishes,

The Editorial Team

The Pisan Journal of Science and Inquiry

Dear Science-Lover:

You’re curious about your world and your universe, and so are we!! Here at The Pisan Journal of Science and Inquiry we’re committed to asking questions about the Earth and doing research guided by the scientific method.

That’s why we’re asking for your help!

The work we do has never been more important, and it’s never been more en­dangered! Political forces are array­ed against us. Fringe elements — Lutheranism, the Elector of Bavaria, remnants of Schism-Supporters — have insisted on censoring valuable and scientific research for political reasons.

We reject this, and we know you do, too!

That’s why we’re asking for your help. Won’t you please show your support for Science and free inquiry by sending us whatever you can today? Your contribution will go a long way to keeping The Pisan Journal of Science and Inquiry the world-class industry leader that it is!

If you’ve been reading PJSI, you already know that the Earth goes around the Sun and that objects in a vacuum fall at the same rate. Thanks to our fearless publication policy, we let you know about these amazing discoveries as soon as Papal Inquiries were concluded and it was physically safe to say them out loud!

We operate entirely independently of the Papal States, insofar as feasible and comfortable.

Please fill out the card below and return it with your contribution. Consider making a regular, monthly contribution to our mission! All donors will receive a cloth satchel with the PJSI logo embroidered on it.

Thanks for supporting Science!

The Editorial Team

The Pisan Journal of Science and Inquiry