The False Comfort of Going ‘No Contact’

Our political tribes are replacing our familial ones.

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NR Illustration: Eric Sailer

Prior to 2020, Sarah, a thoughtful young writer from Chicago, spoke daily with her close friends about everything from work and relationships to music and politics. After 2020, and the political upheaval that that year contained, that open range of conversation seemed to contract to the dimensions of a snow globe. Their formerly unguarded discussions became self-conscious and circled the same subjects: masking, anti-racism, gender, sexuality.

The change was not simply in what the group talked about, but in the militancy with which they talked about it. One friend derisively described her aging father as “ableist” because he felt sad about the physical limitations that came with growing old. Another recounted a fight with her mom because the daughter refused to come home for Thanksgiving as she considered it a settler-colonialist holiday.

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About the Author

Noelle Mering

Noelle Mering is a fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center and the author of No Contact: How a Seductive Ideology Broke Families and Friendships, and How We Can Repair Them (PRH/Forum, 2026), Awake Not Woke (TAN, 2021), and co-author of the Theology of Home book series. She writes the Substack Family Revival and is a wife and mother of six in California.

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