Read This, Not That, Moms & Grads Edition

The season of moms and grads will soon be upon us, and with it the deluge of cap-and-gown-themed party décor and overabundance of jewelry ads. Moms and grads will be treated to all manner of thoughtful gifts over the next month or so, many of which will be charming, amusing, or even useful, but I can tell you with certainty the two gifts that will be decidedly shunned: Dr. Seuss’s Oh, the Places You’ll Go! and Robert Munsch’s Love You Forever.

How do I know this? Because as a thrift- and used-book-store enthusiast, I have seen these two titles popping up most often in discard bins and lost underneath dusty shelves. This is more unfortunate in the case of Munsch’s book, which was written during a time of great loss in his life and has some sweet moments. Moms, however, don’t deserve emotional manipulation on Mother’s Day. Dr. Seuss’s book can also strike a wrong chord (except perhaps for those graduating from preschool) with its singsong rhyming scheme and psychedelic color palette. And honestly, its vague sense of journeying is basically useless to grads, who could probably do with some concreteness in their lives.

Books can be wonderful gifts, but you should tailor them to the person, rather than simply purchasing a self-help book or the latest New York Times best-selling piece of sentimental fluff. The gift will be much more meaningful, and the recipient might even crack it open. How does one accomplish such a feat? Here are some guidelines.

Let’s start with the grad (we’re focusing on the high school variety here, but you could certainly use the ideas for a college graduate as well). Regardless of whether they’re off to college, off to learn a trade, or off down the aisle, they all could use two important items: food and money. While these are crucial, there’s a third item they could definitely use: humor. A healthy sense of humor will see them through life’s worst tricks, soon to come at them as they enter a new phase in life. What better way to remind them of this than with a collection of Baby Blues (hilarious for parents and non-parents alike), Pearls Before Swine (Pig is a delight), the inimitable Calvin and Hobbes (you simply can’t go wrong here), or Peanuts (my personal favorite). Maybe your graduate’s humor has more of a Garfield flavor, or a dark bent that would pair well with The Far Side Gallery. Whatever their inclinations, if they’re anything like my siblings and me, when the going gets tough, the tough reach for comics.

While many college-bound kids will be surviving off cafeteria food and ramen for a bit, they may eventually end up living off campus, with a semi-working kitchen and a limited take-out budget. At that point, they will hopefully remember the cookbook you so kindly bestowed upon them in the far-distant times when mom still cooked them meals and they believed Uber Eats and DoorDash would always be there for them. If you go this route, keep to cookbooks that offer meals that are simple, slightly healthy (we all get turned off by too many salads — just admit it), fast, and cheap. This is a tall order, but if your grad is health-conscious, enjoys cooking, or is just tired of fast food, a solid cookbook is a treasure. My personal favorite is Emily Chapman’s Around the Catholic Table, but anything from Pioneer Woman is also a good choice. America’s Test Kitchen also has Cooking for One and The Complete Cooking for Two. While many people just look up recipes online or use AI to find or create meals these days, don’t underestimate the power of a well-written, beautiful cookbook.

If all else fails, give them the gift of a classic novel and stick some cash between the pages. Better yet, make it a novel you have read and loved. Write them a note saying why you cherish it on the flyleaf, go through and underline a few of your favorite passages, or star a word that you love — these touches show your care and forethought.

Moms are a tough crowd when it comes to book-buying. Are they a new mom? A seasoned veteran? A grandma? A godmother? While there are all sorts of lovely, practical books out there for moms, these can sometimes be received with a polite smile and then never read. To avoid this sad fate, here are three general ideas to use as you will.

The first is a novel, and while I’m of the opinion that everyone should read Beth Brower’s The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion, historical fiction isn’t universally loved. Instead, may I humbly present Wendell Berry’s Hannah Coulter. How Berry manages to portray the mind and soul of a woman so strikingly is a mighty mystery, and I applaud him for it. It’s a slow, simple, graceful story of a young woman growing up, living, losing, learning, and loving, all in the same small Kentucky town. Set in the mid-1900s, it follows Hannah and her thoughts through what some would consider a boring life, but what to most of us is, in numerous ways, reality. Throughout the course of the book, Hannah becomes a daughter, mother, widow, wife, grandmother, and more, making her a deeply relatable companion for any woman in your life.

If said woman, however, needs something more practical (though Hannah Coulter can be quite practical at times), you really can’t go wrong with Father Jacques Philippe’s Searching for and Maintaining Peace: A Small Treatise on Peace of Heart. This book has brought clarity and comfort to numerous acquaintances, and it is perfectly pocket-sized.

This last suggestion is a bit dated, but I was charmed a few years ago by my read of Alexandra Stoddard’s Living a Beautiful Life: 500 Ways to Add Elegance, Order, Beauty and Joy to Every Day of Your Life and have been searching for my own copy ever since. Even if your mom already lives out many of Stoddard’s suggestions, this book is a pleasing read that feels like chatting with a dear friend. And though published in the 1990s, this book still contains plenty of ideas and themes that are applicable to any age and place. Even better, it’s an excellent book to dip in and out of as the spirit moves, always ready to please the mind with some new inspiration at just the right moment.

If absolutely none of these will suffice, and you’re still completely at a loss, you could (a) go with the tried and tested Bouquet of Flowers (have you ever tried making your own?); (b) offer to mulch her gardens (the gift of choice in the Schutte house); or (c) if you really are bent on discovering the Perfect Book, this Substack list is one of the cleverest I’ve encountered in ages. Yes, it was written with Christmas in mind, but surely it will work for Mother’s Day, too. I’ve read 17 of the titles listed here and am stockpiling more for my summer travels.

I hope these ideas have inspired you on what to give those nearest and dearest to you, but if nothing else, at least you now have a list of treasures to buy for yourself. Happy gifting!